Read the teen fact sheet

Gender and sexuality

Gender and sexuality are important and personal parts of someone’s identity.

Everyone experiences their gender and sexuality in their own way. These parts of a person may stay the same throughout their lives, or change over time.

Your teen has a right to feel safe – no matter their gender or sexuality. It is not okay for them to be mistreated for who they are.

What is gender, sex and gender diversity?

Sex assigned at birth and gender are two different things.

Sex assigned at birth:

• Your teen’s ‘sex assigned at birth’ is the label they get when they are born. For example, ‘male,’ ‘female,’ or ‘non-specified.’ It is also called ‘sex registered at birth.’
  • Non-specified (also called intersex) includes people with bodies, genetics and/or hormones that are natural variations on typical human biology.
• A health professional assigns sex at birth after a baby is born, based on their body, genetics, and sometimes hormones. It is on the baby’s birth certificate.

Gender:

• Gender includes both ‘gender identity’ and ‘gender expression.’
  • Your teen’s gender identity is their experience of who they are. They may see themselves as a woman, a man, neither, or a mix of both.
  • Your teen’s gender expression is how they present themselves to reflect their gender identity (for example, the clothing they wear and the name they use).
• People may use words like ‘non-binary’ or ‘gender diverse’ instead of ‘woman’ or ‘man’ to talk about their gender identity.
• Your teen's gender identity may stay the same their whole lives, or change over time.
• It is common for children to become aware of their gender when they are three or four years old. However, some do not think about it until they get older, such as at the start of puberty.

Gender diversity

Your teen’s gender may match their sex assigned at birth, but this is not the case for everyone. Gender diversity refers to gender identities or experiences that differ from the sex assigned at birth. It includes people who are transgender, non-binary and many other gender identities.

Gender diversity is part of the natural range of human diversity; it has always existed, and it is not bad or wrong.

Other words to know about gender

The list below explains some words that describe gender identity; however, there are many others. Always try to respect people’s choices and use the terms they decide best suit them.

• Transgender (or trans): People whose gender identity is different from what it was thought to be at birth.
• Cisgender (or cis): People whose gender identity is the same as what it was thought to be at birth.
• Non-binary: People whose gender identity is not just female or male. It could be neither of these, or a mix of both.
• Gender fluid: People whose gender identity changes dynamically from day to day or over time. It is sometimes called ‘non-fixed gender.’
• Agender: People who do not identify with any gender.
• Intersex: People with bodies, genetics and/or hormones that are natural variations on typical human biology. People may describe themselves as having an ‘intersex variation,’ a ‘variation in sex characteristics,’ or use another term.
• Gender euphoria: The feeling of relief, joy and contentment that comes from gender-affirming experiences. It is the opposite of gender dysphoria.
• Gender dysphoria: The distress someone may feel about a difference between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. It is the opposite of gender euphoria.

What are pronouns, and why do they matter?

Pronouns are words that refer to another person instead of their name. They are a key part of the English language, but they are also important for gender identity. They can show how a person thinks of themselves and how others can think of them. Most people have pronouns that they prefer when others speak to or about them.

• 'Gendered' pronouns are she/her and he/him. Women often use she/her pronouns, and men often use he/him pronouns. For example, you could say: ‘My daughter asked if she was allowed to borrow my phone because her phone ran out of battery.’
• 'Gender neutral' pronouns are words like they/them. Gender diverse and non-binary people may use these pronouns. For example, you could say: ‘They left their phone behind.’
  • They/them are the most common gender-neutral pronouns, but there are many other pronouns people may use.
• Some people use a mix of gendered and non-gendered pronouns – for example, she/they. This means you can swap between these pronouns when referring to them.

Using someone's chosen pronouns shows you accept and respect who they are. It can be hurtful or embarrassing if you use the wrong pronouns – especially on purpose. Using the wrong pronouns on purpose is called 'misgendering.'

If you get your teen's pronouns wrong by accident, simply say sorry and try to get them right next time.

What is gender-affirming care?

Gender-affirming care is about supporting someone to feel happy, safe and healthy in their gender identity.

Some ways you can provide gender-affirming care to your teen include:

• Accepting their gender and encouraging them to be themselves
• Using their chosen name and pronouns
• Helping them get mental health support and/or medical care.

For some teens, gender-affirming medicines and treatments are crucial for their health and wellbeing.

Your teen may affirm their gender by:

• wearing the clothes they feel comfortable in
• styling their hair a certain way
• legally changing their name or sex on their birth certificate.

What is sexuality?

Sexuality includes thoughts, behaviours and desires about sex or romantic relationships. It is who a person is attracted to and the level of sexual or romantic feelings they experience. For some, it is the desire not to have sex or romantic relationships at all.

Other words to know about sexuality

The list below has some words people use when talking about sexuality, but there are many others.

• LGBTQIA+: An abbreviation that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, and asexual. The plus sign stands for all other gender and sexual identities that do not fit into the abbreviation.
• Lesbian: Women who are attracted to other women.
• Gay: Men who are attracted to other men. It is also another word for anyone attracted to the same gender as themselves.
• Bisexual: People who are attracted to men and women or more than one gender.
• Queer: A broad term for people who have diverse gender identities or sexualities.
• Asexual: People who experience no (or very little) sexual or physical attraction to anyone.
• Aromantic: People who experience no (or very little) romantic or emotional attraction to anyone.
• Heterosexual: Usually describes men who are only attracted to women, and women who are only attracted to men. Another word for ‘straight.’
• Pansexual: People who are attracted to all genders.

How can gender and sexuality affect mental health?

Gender diversity and sexuality are not mental health conditions. However, mental health challenges, such as depression, anxiety, eating difficulties and disorders, and self-harm are more common in people who identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

It is more likely for people who identify as LGBTQIA+ to be bullied and mistreated because of their gender or sexuality. Fear of how others will treat them can affect mental health and make someone more likely to hide their true self. On the contrary, feeling supported and safe in one's gender and sexuality has a positive effect on mental health and wellbeing.

How do I support my teen with their gender or sexuality?

In a mental health emergency, call an ambulance (000) immediately.

Talking about gender and sexuality

If your teen speaks with you about their gender or sexuality, this is a good sign of trust. Always try to be open and listen without judgment. Avoid pushing them for more information; this may make them pull away. Instead, focus on what they have shared and support them however you can.

Mental health support

Your teen may find it helpful to speak with a mental health professional. Most schools have mental health staff, such as nurses or counsellors – this is a good place to start. If your teen wants to speak with someone outside of school, they can access free mental health support online or by phone through a service like QLife, Kids Helpline or headspace. Their doctor can refer them to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Medical care

Gender affirmation

Not all gender-diverse people need or want medical treatments. However, a medical pathway can be a very important part of gender-affirming care for some. This could include medicines like hormones or puberty blockers, or other medical treatments. Your teen should speak to their doctor for advice on this.

Sexual health

Many health services can provide sexual health advice, tests and treatments to teens. Your teen can also see their local doctor about any sexual health issues.

Helpful links

• Kids Health Info: Gender diverse children and youth
• Victorian Equal Opportunity and Human Rights Commission: Talking with your child about sexuality and gender identity
• Raising Children Network: Sexuality: pre-teens and teenagers
• Raising Children Network: Gender diversity and gender dysphoria: children and teenagers
• Raising Children Network: Healthy attitudes to gender: children and teenagers
• Better Health Channel: Trans and gender diverse people
• Transcend Australia
• The Royal Children's Hospital: Gender Service

Developed by The Royal Children’s Hospital (RCH) Adolescent Medicine department, with input from the Psychology department. We acknowledge the input of RCH consumers and carers.

Reviewed August 2025

Please always seek the most recent advice from a registered and practising clinician.