Key points
- Trauma is a very upsetting, painful, or scary event that can make a child feel overwhelmed or unsafe.
- It is about how a child experiences the event, rather than the event itself.
- Trauma can affect children in different ways depending on their age, life experiences, and support.
- There is no standard response to trauma. Some children show signs of experiencing trauma straight away. Others may react days, weeks, or months later. Some may never show signs.
- Trauma responses are not ‘bad behaviours.’ These are signs a child may need extra support.
- You can always seek professional help to support your child with trauma. Their regular doctor is a good place to start.
What is trauma?
Trauma is a very upsetting, painful, or scary event that can overwhelm a child's ability to cope and make them feel unsafe. It is about how a child experiences the event, rather than the event itself.
Children can experience trauma directly or by seeing or hearing something traumatic. For example, a young child may feel unsafe if the people who care for them seem frightened or distressed.
Experiences that can cause trauma include:
- Harm, abuse, or neglect
- Bullying or exclusion
- Violence in families or communities
- Serious illness, injury, or accidents
- Hospital and medical experiences, such as vaccines or surgery
- Death of a family member or close friend
- Natural disasters or emergencies
- Racism, discrimination, or prejudice
- War, displacement, or refugee experiences
- Intergenerational trauma
Children may experience a single traumatic event, repeated or ongoing experiences, or a combination of different types of trauma over time. When trauma happens repeatedly, or in different ways, it is sometimes called complex trauma.
Trauma is common; most children and families go through hard or scary experiences at some stage. You and your child are not alone, and support is available.
How does trauma affect a child’s health and wellbeing?
Children are affected by and respond to traumatic experiences in different ways.
Their reactions may depend on:
- Their age and stage of development
- Their communication abilities
- How they experienced the event
- How much they were exposed to
- How they may interpret and understand the experiences through their cultural background
- This includes their beliefs, values, and how their family or community understands or responds to distress
- How adults and others around them responded
- The support available to them.
For example, imagine two different children in hospital for the same emergency surgery.
One child may feel safe because their family stays with them, they know what to expect, and the staff explain what is going to happen. When they are well enough to go home, they may return to their usual routine quickly.
Another child may feel scared or confused because they are separated from their family, they do not know what to expect, and the staff do not have time to explain what is going to happen. When they are well enough to go home, they may have nightmares, worry about getting sick again, or feel upset at the thought of returning to hospital.
Both responses are normal. They reflect how each child experienced the situation and how safe or overwhelmed they felt at the time.
Signs of trauma in children and young people
Trauma responses are the body and brain’s way of trying to stay safe.
They are not ‘bad behaviours'; they are signs that a child may need extra care, support, and reassurance.
Here are some signs your child may have experienced trauma:
Babies and toddlers (zero to two years)
- Acting jumpy or easily startled
- Trouble sleeping or settling
- Changes in feeding and eating
- Losing skills they have already learned, such as rolling over, sitting, and crawling
- Crying more than usual
- Clinging to parents or carers
- Pulling away or being less responsive than usual
- Strong reactions to reminders of the event, such as sights, sounds, and smells.
Pre-school children (two to five years)
- Bedwetting or toileting accidents
- Fear of the dark
- Clinging to parents or carers
- Nightmares
- Scared of being left alone and separated from parents or carers
- Acting younger than usual, such as using baby talk or sucking their thumb
- Changes in eating habits
- Being quiet or angry
- Using play to show or act out what happened.
Primary school-aged children (five to 11 years)
- Changes in behaviour
- Worrying that it will ‘happen again’
- Concern for their own safety or the safety of others
- Feeling like they were to blame in some way
- Complaining of headaches or stomach aches
- Asking questions or talking about death
- Using play to show or act out what happened
- Nightmares and/or sleep troubles
- Changes in eating habits
- Not wanting to go to school
- Being quiet or angry
- Avoiding things or places that remind them of what happened.
Pre-teens and teens (11 to 16 years)
- Wanting to discuss the event a lot
- Losing interest in family, friends, or social activities
- Talking or thinking a lot about death or dying
- Acting like the event did not affect them
- Being quiet or angry
- Changes in sleeping or eating habits
- Pushing back against rules at school and home
- Complaining of headaches or stomach aches
- Experiencing skin problems such as rashes or sores
- Taking more risks, such as drinking alcohol or using drugs.
Not all children show signs of trauma straight away. There is also no 'standard’ response to trauma. Some children may not react until days, weeks, or months after the event. Other children may not show any signs.
How to support children and young people affected by trauma
It can be upsetting to see your child respond to trauma – especially if you were impacted by the traumatic event, too. Your own wellbeing is important as a parent or carer. When you feel calm and supported, your child will feel safer. You may need guidance from family, friends, or health professionals so you can continue helping your child.
Understand, listen, and talk
- Gently explain what has happened to your child, using honest language they can understand.
- Tell your child you love them through words and physical comfort, such as hugs.
- Reassure your child that it was not their fault.
- Explain to your child that you will take care of them and do everything you can to keep them safe.
- Validate your child's feelings by letting them know it is okay to feel upset, scared, or sad.
- Assure your child that you do not expect them to be tough and brave all the time.
- Where possible, include family, community, and cultural support that are important to your child. These can help them feel safe and understood.
It is a good idea to give your child the chance to:
- talk about what happened, but do not force them if they do not seem comfortable
- share their emotions with you or another trusted adult
- draw or write about what they are feeling
- make small changes or decisions that allow them to feel more in control, such as choosing their clothes or dinner
- sleep with a night light, if it makes them feel safe.
Where possible, reintroducing your child’s usual routines can help create a sense of safety and predictability. This may take time and require support from family, friends, and community. It is okay to go at your child’s pace.
When to seek more help
Recovery from trauma will look different for every child and may depend on their development and situation. Some children will recover with little support, while others will need more.
Trauma responses are normal and improve over time with care and support.
However, if your child’s reactions are very strong, last a long time, or start to affect their daily life, a doctor or mental health professional may assess for trauma-related conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or paediatric medical traumatic stress (PMTS).
Speak to a health professional if your child:
- has thoughts or behaviours that could harm themselves or others
- has strong reactions that continue after a few months
- is showing strong emotions or distress that does not improve over time
- still struggles with reminders of the event weeks or months later
- has signs of anxiety or fear that are getting worse
- is experiencing physical symptoms that are not improving.
If trauma responses are not addressed, they can affect your child’s social, emotional, physical, and learning development. However, children and young people can recover and feel safe again with the right support.
Treatment and support services
If you or your children are in danger, call the police (000) immediately.
Support can come from many places. Some families prefer to connect with trusted health professionals or community/cultural organisations, while others may need specialised trauma or mental health services. Seeking support early can help your child feel safe and understood.
Everyday support
- Your child’s doctor (general practitioner or ‘GP’)
- Your maternal and child health nurse
- Your child’s school or kindergarten’s wellbeing team
- Your local community health centre.
National support services
- Lifeline (13 11 14) – 24-hour crisis support for anyone feeling distressed
- Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) – free counselling for children and young people aged 5 to 25
- 1800 Respect (1800 737 732) – 24-hour confidential support for people affected by family violence, domestic violence, or sexual assault
- GriefLine (1300 845 745) – support for people experiencing grief and loss
- Beyondblue (1300 22 4636) – mental health information and support for anxiety, depression, trauma, and wellbeing
- Nurse-on-call (1300 60 60 24) – health advice from registered nurses (VIC)
- Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) – suicide prevention and mental health counselling.
- The Orange Door – help for people who are experiencing family violence or who need support with the care and wellbeing of children.
Trauma-specific services
- Phoenix Australia (61 3 9035 5599) – national resources and support for trauma recovery
- Blueknot (1300 657 380) – support for people affected by complex trauma
- Emerging Minds (03 9429 9266) – information and resources to support children and families after stressful events.
Culturally safe and inclusive supports
- 13YARN (13 92 76) – crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
- Foundation House (03 9389 8900) – A specialist refugee trauma agency supporting survivors of torture and other traumatic events
- Rainbow Door (800 729 367) – support for LGBTQIA+ communities
- Berry Street – trauma-informed support services for children, young people, and families affected by adversity, family violence, and trauma
- Mensline (1300 789 978) – free telephone and online counselling service offering support for Australian men.
Common questions about responses to trauma in children and young people
How do I know if my child is experiencing stress or something more serious?
Your child may respond to stress and trauma in similar ways. If your child’s reactions are strong, last a long time, or start to affect their daily life, learning, or relationships, they may need extra support.
A doctor or another health professional can help you understand what your child is experiencing and suggest the right help for their needs.
My child does not want to talk about a distressing experience, but I can see they are angry
or upset. What can I do?
Many children show distress through their behaviour rather than through words. Let your child know you are there to listen, but do not pressure them to talk before they are ready. You can help by staying calm, offering comfort, and keeping daily routines the same where possible. When your child is ready, you can help them name their feelings in simple ways. Make sure to use words they will understand. For example, you could say ‘scary’ instead of ‘traumatic,’ or ‘mean’ instead of ‘bullying.’
If you are worried or unsure about how to help, a health professional can guide you.
My child had a scary hospital experience when they were very young. I was told they would not
remember it. Why do they still get nervous about medical visits?
Even if your child does not remember a frightening experience in words, their body can still react to reminders. For example, if your child had surgery when they were younger, they may get upset and anxious when they go into a hospital, hear medical equipment, or smell something they connect with their experience, such as hand sanitiser. They are not reacting this way on purpose.
The good news is that children's brains and bodies are capable of healing from trauma. Making them feel safe, supported, and understood can play an important role in their recovery and lower distress over time. Professional support, such as psychology, may also help if symptoms persist.
For more information
Developed by The Royal Children’s Hospital Mental Health department, with input from the Melbourne Children’s Campus Mental Health Strategy team. We acknowledge the input of the Lived Experience Advisors, and RCH consumers and carers.
Reviewed April 2026
Please always seek the most recent advice from a registered and practising clinician.