At a glance
- Gender includes both ‘gender identity’ and ‘gender expression.’
- Your gender identity is your personal experience of who you are, as being a woman, a man, neither, or a mix of both.
- Your gender expression is how you present yourself to reflect your gender identity (for example, the clothes you wear).
- Sexuality includes thoughts, behaviours and desires about sex and romantic relationships. It’s who you are attracted to, the level of sexual or romantic feelings you have, or the desire not to have sex or romantic relationships.
- Your gender and sexuality are important and personal parts of who you are.
- Everyone has a right to feel safe and supported in their gender and sexuality.
- There are lots of people who can support you with your gender or sexuality – online, in-person and by phone.
Getting to know your gender and sexuality
Gender and sexuality are important and personal parts of who you are.
Everyone experiences their gender and sexuality in their own way. These parts of you might stay the same for your whole life or change over time.
You always have a right to feel safe – no matter your gender or sexuality. If people treat you differently because of who you are, this is called ‘discrimination,’ and it’s not okay.
What is sex, gender and gender diversity?
Sex assigned at birth and gender are two different things.
Sex assigned at birth:
- Your ‘sex assigned at birth’ is the label you get when you are born. For example, ‘male,’ ‘female,’ or ‘non-specified.’ It’s also called your ‘sex registered at birth.’
- Non-specified (also called intersex) includes people with bodies, genetics and/or hormones that are natural variations on typical human biology.
- A health worker would have assigned your sex at birth based on your body, genetics, and sometimes hormones. It’s on your birth certificate.
Gender:
- Your gender includes both ‘gender identity’ and ‘gender expression.’
- Your gender identity is your experience of who you are, as a woman, a man, neither, or a mix of both.
- Your gender expression is how you present yourself to reflect your gender identity (for example, the clothes you wear and the name you use).
People might use words like ‘non-binary’ or ‘gender diverse’ instead of ‘woman’ or ‘man’ to talk about their gender identity.
Some people’s gender identity stays the same their whole lives, but for others, it changes over time.
Many people become aware of their gender when they are three or four years old. But some don’t think about it until they get older, like at the start of puberty.
Gender diversity
Your gender might match your sex assigned at birth, but this isn’t the case for everyone. Gender diversity refers to gender identities or experiences that are different from the sex assigned at birth. It includes people who are transgender, non-binary
and many other gender identities.
If your gender identity doesn’t match what you, or others, expected it to be, this can be confusing. Some people find it hard at first. Talking about it with someone you trust can help.
Other words to know about gender
The list below explains some words that describe gender identity, but there are many others. You should always respect people's choices and use the terms they decide best suit them.
- Transgender (trans): People whose gender identity is different from what it was thought to be at birth.
- Cisgender (cis): People whose gender identity is the same as what it was thought to be at birth.
- Non-binary: People whose gender identity isn’t entirely female or male.
- Gender fluid: People whose gender identity changes dynamically from day to day or over time. It’s sometimes called ‘non-fixed gender.’
- Agender: People who don’t identify with any gender.
- Intersex: People with bodies, genetics and/or hormones that are natural variations on typical human biology. People might describe themself as having an ‘intersex variation,’ a ‘variation in sex characteristics,’ or use another term.
- Gender euphoria: The feeling of relief, joy and contentment that comes from gender-affirming experiences. It’s the opposite of gender dysphoria.
- Gender dysphoria: The distress someone might feel about a difference between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. It’s the opposite of gender euphoria.
What are pronouns, and why do they matter?
Pronouns are words that refer to another person instead of their name. They are a key part of the English language, but they are also important for gender identity. Pronouns can show how you think of yourself and how others can think of you. Most people
have pronouns that they prefer when others speak to or about them.
- 'Gendered' pronouns are she/her and he/him. Women often use she/her pronouns, and men often use he/him pronouns. For example, you might say: ‘My sister asked if she could borrow my phone because hers ran out
of battery.’
- 'Gender neutral' pronouns are words like they/them. Gender-diverse and non-binary people might use these pronouns. For example, you might say: ‘They left their phone behind.’
- They/them are the most common gender-neutral pronouns, but there are many other pronouns people might use.
- Some people use a mix of gendered and non-gendered pronouns – for example, she/they. This means you can swap between these pronouns when referring to them.
Using someone's chosen pronouns shows you accept and respect who they are. It can be hurtful or embarrassing if you use the wrong pronouns – especially if you do it on purpose. Using the wrong pronouns on purpose is called 'misgendering.'
If you get a person's pronouns wrong by accident, just say sorry and try to get them right next time.
What is gender-affirming care?
Gender-affirming care is about being supported to feel happy, safe and healthy in your gender identity.
It might mean:
- feeling accepted by your family, friends and teachers
- using your chosen name and pronouns and asking others to use them, too
- wearing clothes you feel comfortable in
- styling your hair a certain way
- legally changing your name or sex on your birth certificate
- getting mental health support
- receiving medical care.
For some young people, gender-affirming medicines and medical treatments are crucial for their health and wellbeing.
What is sexuality?
Your sexuality includes thoughts, behaviours and desires about sex or romantic relationships. It’s who you are attracted to and the level of sexual or romantic feelings you have. For some people, it’s the desire not to have sex or romantic relationships
at all.
Other words to know about sexuality
The list below has some words people use when talking about sexuality, but there are many others.
- LGBTQIA+: An abbreviation that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, and asexual. The plus sign stands for all other gender and sexual identities that don’t fit into the abbreviation.
- Lesbian: Women who are attracted to other women.
- Gay: Men who are attracted to other men. It’s also another word for any person who’s attracted to the same gender as themself.
- Bisexual: People who are attracted to men and women, or more than one gender.
- Queer: A broad term for people who have diverse gender identities or sexualities.
- Asexual: People who experience no (or very little) sexual or physical attraction to anyone.
- Aromantic: People who experience no (or very little) romantic or emotional attraction to anyone.
- Heterosexual: Usually describes men who are only attracted to women, and women who are only attracted to men. Another word for ‘straight.’
- Pansexual: People who are attracted to all genders.
Physical versus emotional attraction
Many things can draw you to another person. Sometimes, it's the way they look; other times, it's their personality or nature. Often, it’s both.
- Physical attraction is about feeling drawn to someone because of their appearance. This might include their gender, physical features like their hair or eyes, or the way they dress.
- Emotional attraction is about feeling drawn to someone because of their inner qualities. This might include their personality, sense of humour, values, or hobbies you have in common. It could be as simple as feeling safe or comfortable with
them.
Attraction is not just romantic – it relates to all kinds of relationships. It can also change over time. As you get to know someone better, you might feel more or less attracted to them.
How can gender and sexuality affect my mental health?
Gender diversity and sexuality are not mental health conditions. But mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, eating difficulties and disorders, and self-harm are more common in people who identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
It’s more likely for people who identify as LGBTQIA+ to be treated differently because of their gender or sexuality. They are also more likely to get bullied. Fear of how other people treat you or their reactions to your gender and sexuality can affect
your mental health and make you more likely to hide your true self. On the flip side, feeling supported and safe in your gender and sexuality has a positive effect on mental health and wellbeing.
Getting help
In a mental health emergency, call an ambulance (000) immediately.
Talking about gender and sexuality
Many people find it helpful to talk to someone about their gender or sexuality. You might like to speak with your friends, family, school health services, or your local doctor (general practitioner or ‘GP’). If you want to chat with someone you don't
know, try a free online or phone support service like QLife, Kids Helpline, or headspace.
Mental health support
If you need mental health support, start by speaking with a trusted adult like your parents, GP or a school staff member like a nurse or counsellor. You can also get free mental health support online or by phone through QLife, Kids Helpline, or headspace.
Your GP can refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Medical care
Gender affirmation
Not all gender-diverse people need or want medical treatments. But for some, a medical pathway is a vital part of gender-affirming care. This can include medicines like hormones or puberty blockers, or other medical treatments. If you are thinking about
this, start by speaking to your GP. There are gender services for young people in every state of Australia.
Sexual health
Many health services can give you sexual health advice, tests and treatments. You can also see your GP about any sexual health issues.
How do I tell my family about my gender or sexuality?
Family can be a great source of support when learning about gender and sexuality. But you might worry about how they will react or that they won’t accept you for who you are. There is no ‘right way’ to have this conversation because it depends on you
and your family.
Before you speak with your family about your gender and sexuality, think about how you might like to tell them. Some people feel comfortable having a conversation; others prefer to write a letter.
When sharing in conversation:
- Decide if you want a support person with you.
- Consider writing down some points you want to talk about – these can help you stay on track if you are nervous.
- Choose a calm time and place to talk and let your family know you want to speak to them about something important.
- Use clear words and statements when sharing so nothing gets lost in translation.
There is no rush to tell anyone about your gender or sexuality. The key is that you feel safe and comfortable. It might help to talk it through first with someone you trust, like a friend, adult or counsellor (in-person, by phone or via online chat).
This will give you a chance to practice what you want to say.
Things you might be wondering
I am confused about my gender or sexuality. Is this normal?
Exploring your gender and sexuality is a normal part of learning who you are. These parts of you change over time, or even day to day, but this doesn’t necessarily mean you are confused.
Sometimes, you might feel worried about expressing who you are because of pressure or expectations from those around you. In these cases, remember your gender identity and sexuality are very personal, and nobody should tell you they are ‘right’
or ‘wrong.’
My friend gets bullied about their gender or sexuality. How can I support them?
Everyone has the right to feel safe and supported in their gender and sexuality. In Australia, this right is protected by law. Sadly, bullying based on gender and sexuality still happens. If your friend gets bullied, you can start by checking
in with them to see if they are okay. Speak to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher or health worker for advice. If you feel safe to, you could also stand up for your friend against the bullying.
You can report bullying if you see it. You might want to speak to someone where the bullying is happening (for example, your school’s wellbeing team or the leader of your sports club) or use official channels like the Australian Human Rights Commission.
Do I have to tell my parents if I speak to someone about my gender or sexuality?
Teens have a right to private and confidential health care, including mental health support and counselling. This privacy means you don’t need to tell your parents if you talk to a health worker about your gender or sexuality. In most cases, it’s
a good idea to speak with your parents so they can help you get the care you need.
Your GP or mental health worker might need to tell your parents or someone else if you are not safe. For example, if you are having serious mental health challenges, they will need to share this information to protect you. You can ask your GP
or mental health worker whether they would need to share certain information before you choose to speak about it. If you want to start with anonymous support, services like Q Life can help.
Helpful links
Developed by The Royal Children’s Hospital (RCH); medical review by the Adolescent Medicine department, with input from the Psychology department. Created with advice from the RCH Health Literacy Youth Advisory Committee.
Reviewed August 2025
Speak with a doctor for up-to-date and personalised medical advice.