Connecting with yourself can help you to work out what you need to do to feel more balanced, despite your pelvic pain.

What is self-connection?

Self-connection is about understanding yourself and noticing what affects your thoughts, feelings, energy and pain.  

It can help you get to know yourself better and learn more about what works for you to reduce your pain. Pain is one example of an inner experience. Learning more about your thoughts, feelings and body can help you understand what affects your pain.

This could include:

• Thoughts you’re having about pain
• Other bodily sensations
• The thoughts and attitudes about pain that people around you share
• The environments around you during the day.

When you're more aware of your thoughts, feelings and body signals, it can be easier to notice stress, understand triggers and respond to pain in helpful ways.

Connecting with yourself includes:

• Noticing what you’re thinking, feeling and experiencing
• Noticing what your body is telling you, including:
  • tension
  • excitement
  • fear
  • fatigue
• Being kind to yourself
• Making choices that fit with your values and needs
• Resting when you feel exhausted
• Saying no when you feel overloaded
• Doing something meaningful, even if it feels difficult.

Increasing your self-connection can help you to:

• Detect anxiety early
• Notice when you’re moving from coping to struggling
• Separate your own wants from what anxiety is driving
• Know when you're expecting too much of yourself
• Choose coping and calming strategies rather than just pushing through.

How can I strengthen my self-connection?

• Pausing a few times during the day to ask yourself, “what am I feeling?” and “what does my body need?”
• Naming your specific emotions, like feeling lonely, trapped, misunderstood, frustrated, disappointed
• Noticing the physical sensations your body is feeling like pain, tiredness or muscle tension
• Keeping a diary or notes about what gives you energy versus what drains it
• Spending time doing activities or hobbies where you feel most like yourself
• Practice being kind and understanding to yourself, particularly about the things you can’t do at the moment.

A quick check in

Ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?
• What is my body telling me?
• What do I need today?
• What's one small thing I can do to support myself?

Support options

• If you're having difficulties with your mood, feeling overwhelmed or have questions about pelvic pain, talk to a trusted adult, your school wellbeing team or your local doctor (GP)
  
• Kids Helpline – a free and confidential phone support service, available 24/7
• Headspace – offers support at their clinics, or over the phone and online
• Reach Out – online mental health support for young people

Disclaimer

This information is intended to support, not replace, advice from your doctor or healthcare professionals. It is general information only and may not apply to your individual circumstances. You should always check with your healthcare provider before making decisions about your care or starting, stopping or changing any treatment.

The authors of this consumer health information have made a considerable effort to ensure the information is accurate, up-to-date and easy to understand. The Royal Children’s Hospital (RCH) Melbourne accepts no responsibility for any inaccuracies, information perceived as misleading, or the success of any treatment regimen detailed in these handouts. Medical knowledge can change over time and the information contained in the handouts is updated regularly. Therefore you should always check you are referring to the most recent version of the handout. The onus is on you, the user, to ensure that you have downloaded the most up-to-date version of a consumer health information handout.

Developed by The Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne Kids and Teens Pelvic Pain Clinical Network multidisciplinary team, supported by RCH services.

The Kids and Teens Pelvic Pain Clinical Network is supported by the Victorian Government.