Fast facts
- Pelvic pain can affect school attendance, friendships, mood, hygiene and daily activities.
- Children and young people may respond to pain differently, including withdrawing socially or avoiding school.
- Your support can make a meaningful difference, even when you can’t remove the pain.
- Open, supportive conversations help young people feel safe and understood.
- Small adjustments at home, school and in daily routines can help.
- Professional support is available when symptoms become difficult to manage.
Pelvic pain is real and can significantly impact your young person’s day-to-day life. It can be distressing to see your child in pain and not know how to help. This pain can affect things like school, hygiene, mood and how they socialise, and it can also impact your relationship with them.
As a parent or caregiver, you’re able to provide understanding, support and help your child access the care they need. With this support, many young people will see an improvement.
Common challenges for young people with pelvic pain
School refusal
“My child is refusing to go to school.”
There are many possible reasons for school avoidance, including:
- Pain or fatigue
- Heavy or unpredictable bleeding
- Anxiety about symptoms occurring at school
- Social or academic difficulties
- Low mood or emotional distress.
How can you help?
- Take a broad view of the issue, rather than focusing on one possible cause
- Talk gently with your child about what feels like the most difficult part of school
- Speak with teachers and health professionals to build a shared plan, to help support your child’s learning
- Try to support gradual return to school, where possible.
Social withdrawal
“My child is withdrawing from friends and activities.”
Withdrawal from social activities can be related to:
- Pain or fatigue
- Embarrassment about symptoms
- Low mood or anxiety
- Feeling different from their friends.
How can you help?
- Stay curious and ask questions, rather than assuming the reason behind withdrawal.
- Encourage small, low-pressure social interactions instead of big events like parties or family functions.
- Think about what activities they can skip and what is worth trying.
- Keep an eye out for signs of persistent low mood or anxiety.
- If they continue to withdraw, think about speaking with your GP about getting a referral to a mental health professional.
Reluctance to seek help or follow treatment advice
“My child is refusing to see a doctor or therapist.”
Or: “My child isn’t following the recommended plan.”
This is common among people with ongoing pelvic pain and can be due to:
- Previous treatments not helping, leading to a feeling of hopelessness
- Negative or uncomfortable past experiences with healthcare professionals or the health system
- Feeling overwhelmed or that other issues are more urgent
- Fear or uncertainty about what will happen at an appointment or in the future
- Both parents and young people often worry that an internal examination will be done if they see a doctor about pelvic problems – this is rarely necessary. It is never done without the young person feeling comfortable about this.
How can you help?
- Acknowledge their feelings without judgement.
- Reassure them that treatment often takes time and may need adjustment.
- Emphasise that different approaches or clinicians may be more helpful.
- Break recommendations into small, manageable steps.
- Offer choices, where possible, to increase their sense of control. This could include choices about which health professionals they’re comfortable seeing.
Period anxiety, mood changes, and irritability
“My child becomes anxious or very moody before their period.”
It’s common for young people to experience emotional and physical changes before a period, including:
- Anxiety
- Irritability
- Fatigue
- Brain fog or poor concentration
- Low mood.
These are often linked to hormonal changes.
How can you help?
- Maintain consistent daily routines.
- Prioritise sleep, hydration, and regular meals as part of overall health and wellbeing.
- Keep communication open and supportive.
- Use open-ended questions, like:
- “How are things feeling today?”
- “How are you going?”
- “What can I do to support you today?”
- Give them space when they ask for it, while staying available if they need you.
If symptoms are more intense:
Some young people experience more significant symptoms with their hormonal changes. Additional strategies that could help them include:
- Planning supportive daily routines during the premenstrual and menstrual phases
- Choosing comfortable clothing and preferred hygiene products like pads, tampons and period pants
- Discussing medical options with a GP to help regulate, lighten or skip periods.
Hygiene challenges during periods
“My child is having accidents, odour issues, or isn’t managing their hygiene.”
Managing menstruation is a learned skill and may take time. Some young people have difficulties because of:
- Lack of knowledge or education about menstrual care
- Sensory discomfort or overwhelm from menstruating
- Embarrassment or avoidance
- Difficulty using or changing products correctly
- Limited awareness of smell or leakage.
How can you help?
- Provide clear and practical step-by-step guidance on how to change period products.
- Normalise learning and mistakes.
- Check their understanding rather than assuming their knowledge.
- Offer demonstrations or written instructions if appropriate or direct them to other resources online if they’re more comfortable.
- Make sure they have access to a range of period products, including:
- Pads
- Tampons
- Period pants
- Pain relief.
- Support routines for changing these products and putting them in a bin.
When to get help
It may be time to seek additional support if:
- Your young person’s pain is affecting school attendance or participation
- They’re withdrawing from friends, family or activities they usually enjoy
- They appear increasingly anxious, overwhelmed or distressed
- They’re struggling to manage daily hygiene or self-care
- Their pain is getting worse or not improving
- You feel unsure how best to support them.
Support options
You can encourage your young person to speak with:
- Their GP
- A psychologist
- A school wellbeing officer, counsellor or nurse
- A physiotherapist
- A trusted teacher, coach or community leader
- Kids Helpline — a free and confidential phone support service, available 24/7
- Headspace — offers support at their clinics, or over the phone and online.
As a parent or caregiver, you might also need support. You can speak with:
- Your GP
- A psychologist or mental health professional.