Self-connection is how someone observes their inner self. Self-connection can help your young person know themselves better and learn more about what works to reduce their pain.

Self-connection can help your child or young person work out what they need to do to feel more balanced, despite their pelvic pain. Pain is one example of an inner experience. We can learn what impacts pain through self-connection, which is how a person observes themself. 

Inner experiences related to your young person's pain could include:

• Thoughts they have about pain
• Other bodily sensations
• Thoughts and attitudes about pain that people around them have
• Environments around them during the day.

Noticing these can help your young person make choices that support a positive inner experience which is in line with their values and needs.

Connecting with themselves includes:

• Self-awareness
  • Thinking, feeling and experiencing
  • Body signals, such as tension, excitement, fear and fatigue
• Self-acceptance
  • Allowing experiences to exist without judgement
• Self-alignment
  • Making choices that fit with their values and needs
  • Resting when they feel exhausted
  • Saying ‘no’ when they feel overloaded
  • Doing something meaningful, even if it feels difficult.

How can increasing self-connection help?

When your young person increases their self-connection, it can help them to:

• Detect anxiety early
• Notice when they’re moving from coping to struggling
• Separate their own wants from what anxiety is telling them
• Stop expecting too much of themselves
• Choose strategies that self-regulate rather than continuing to push through.

How can I help my young person strengthen their self-connection?

Encourage your young person to:

• Pause a few times during the day to ask themselves, “what am I feeling?” and “what does my body need?”
• Name their specific emotions, whether it be feeling lonely, trapped, misunderstood, frustrated or disappointed.
• Check in on their physical sensations, such as breathing, muscle tension, energy and pain.
• Keep a record about what gives them energy and what drains it.
• Spend time doing activities or hobbies where they feel most like themselves.
• Practise being kind and understanding to themselves, particularly about the things they find difficult.

Support options

• If your young person is having difficulties with their mood or has more questions, encourage them to talk to a trusted adult at home, school or your local doctor (GP).
• Kids Helpline – a free and confidential phone support service, available 24/7
  

Disclaimer

This information is intended to support, not replace, advice from your doctor or healthcare professionals. It is general information only and may not apply to your individual circumstances. You should always check with your healthcare provider before making decisions about your care or starting, stopping or changing any treatment.

The authors of this consumer health information have made a considerable effort to ensure the information is accurate, up-to-date and easy to understand. The Royal Children’s Hospital (RCH) Melbourne accepts no responsibility for any inaccuracies, information perceived as misleading, or the success of any treatment regimen detailed in these handouts. Medical knowledge can change over time and the information contained in the handouts is updated regularly. Therefore you should always check you are referring to the most recent version of the handout. The onus is on you, the user, to ensure that you have downloaded the most up-to-date version of a consumer health information handout.

Developed by The Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne Kids and Teens Pelvic Pain Clinical Network multidisciplinary team, supported by RCH services.

The Kids and Teens Pelvic Pain Clinical Network is supported by the Victorian Government.