What can you do if your feelings are becoming overwhelming or you are developing depression, anxiety or acute stress

Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between feeling tired and feeling depressed. While your baby is in Butterfly, you are probably trying to keep up with a busy schedule of driving back and forth to the hospital and managing things both in hospital and at home. It is understandable if you’re feeling emotional and exhausted. It is important for you to recognise signs of depression and to know what to do if the symptoms persist. 

Sometimes it seems like the NICU is the perfect place for creating anxiety and stress! While your baby is in Butterfly, you learn to be hypervigilant. You wash your hands hundreds of times to prevent infection and watch the monitors and equipment to keep track of everything your baby is doing. It can all make you feel a little crazy. 

If you notice you are having trouble coping with these kinds of feelings, please ask us for help

• Nervousness – you are aware of all the things that can go wrong and feel like you’re waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
• Fearfulness – you’re afraid of what happens in the NICU and worried about what your baby is feeling and experiencing.
• Anger and Irritation – you’re either mad at the people around you or mad at the situation, but you can’t stop feeling annoyed.
• Disconnection – you might feel like this isn’t “real” and that this isn’t possible.

While all these feelings are normal, it is important for you and your family to recognise if they become a problem, such as significantly impacting on your sleep, eating or daily activities and know how to get the help and support you need if they do.  

Where can I get help to care for myself if I need it?

You can ask your beside nurse or the ward clerk to contact one of our Social Workers or Infant Mental Health specialists.

Additional information

• NICU: 18 tips for parents on coping
• Life’s Little Treasures: supporting families of premature and sick babies
• Miracle Babies: supporting families of premature and sick babies
• Australian Multiple Births Association: peer support and education
• PANDA: (Perinatal Anxiety And Depression Australia):  information, telephone helpline, referrals for counselling
• Child FIRST: child and family information, referral and support teams across the state. Each Child FIRST provides a central referral point to a range of community-based family services and other supports within each of their catchment areas. Ask your social worker about your local CHILD FIRST Service
• The Orange Door: family violence support
• WIRE: women’s information and referral service, offer support for issues, such as family relationships and legal issues; domestic/family violence; housing and homelessness, and general information 1300 134 130
• Beyond Blue: provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live. 1300 224 636 (available 24 hours a day)
• Lifeline: crisis support service that offers short-term support for people who are feeling overwhelmed or having difficulty coping or staying safe 13 11 14 (available 24 hours a day)
• MensLine Australia: national telephone and online support, information and referral service for men and family relationship concerns. 1300 789 978 (available 24 hours a day)
• Parentline Victoria: telephone counselling and support service for parents and carers 132 289